Well, it finally arrived...2012. Most people over the past few weeks have been writing their reflections of the past year and resolutions for the year to come. And I feel in most of the ones I have read, they talk about how glad they are that 2011 is over and hoping 2012 is kinder to them. I've been fortunate enough to reflect back on most of my previous years around this time and think, "Wow...I had a pretty darn good year." And 2011 was certainly no exception...
My New Years last year, although spent with some amazing people, started off pretty shaky. I had just gotten out of a year and a half relationship that lasted about 6 months too long. For the first time ever, I found myself with the countdown slowly ticking away to the start of 2011...and I had no one to kiss. (And for those of you who know me, a boyfriendless Lisa is a very rare thing.) I was forced in that moment to ring in the New Year not as "us" or "we" or "Lisa & ___", but as "Lisa". It was bizarre...and terrifying. And little did I know that very instant would set the tone for the year to follow...
2011: The Year of "Me"
After reluctantly welcoming 2011, I immediately moved in with my best friend, Dibbs. And after the year long not-so-pleasant living situation of 2010 I had just experienced, I was needless to say extremely excited about my new arrangements. And boy did it live up to my expectations. Even though we lived together, worked together, and played together...it was always fun. Even our car rides to work and back were filled with "GLEEfulness" and laughing til we cried. Within a month, I felt like I was my old self again...but a new, better, more free, and all around happier version. Within the first 6 months of 2011, I made some of the best memories that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I went out almost every weekend, I dated, I took random road trips...(let's just saw I worked the single status like it was my job). I was getting to enjoy things in a whole new way, and I was loving every second of it. And just as I was getting use to this new aspect of life known as "singleness", another new opportunity was thrown my way...Chicago.
It was something I had always wanted, always dreamed of...but was it the right time? I mean, here I am in a great living situation, good job, amazing friends, and having the time of my life. Did I really want to risk all of that and move to a city that, although I loved, was full of so many uncertainties?? I knew practically no one, the job was so different, and I had never lived more than an hour and a half from where I was born. Yes, I had mastered the single life, but this was something much bigger than that. What if I couldn't cut it? What if I got there and didn't love it anymore? What if I get buried in snow on Lake Shore Drive?! (Hey, did you guys see the stories about the February 2011 Blizzard?? It's a legit fear.) I toiled over the idea for days, until I had a conversation with my mother (who btw, it a super wise lady). She said, "Honey, look...this is something you've always wanted. This is your dream. You're young. Do it now. You can always come back. But if you don't go now, you may never do it...and wouldn't that be something that would always weigh on your heart? It's ok to be selfish...that's what your 20's are for." She was absolutely right. So, I did...I did it for me.
I have now been a Chicagoan for 6 months (wow...6 months), and I have probably learned more about myself in this 6 months then I have in the past 24 years of my life. Although I've met some pretty fabulous people since I've arrived in the Windy City, I've spent much of the time here alone. And as slightly depressing as that may sound (and felt, some days)...I needed it. I've gone to movies and restaurants by myself. I've hopped on a train after midnight to meet friends at a bar. I've spent a whole day exploring the city all on my own. The mere idea of some of these things would've been horrifying to the "old Lisa"...but not me. I've embraced it...and I feel so much more independent and self-sufficient and, honestly, more grown-up. I feel like I'm finally starting to get to know the "real Lisa" and the kind of person she's still working every day to become...and I kind of like her. :o)
Lessons Learned:
As I said earlier, I've learned so much about myself over the past year...in work, friendships, love, and life in general. I have met so many different people and gained such a greater perspective on the world. So I thought I would share a little bit of "wisdom" I've harvested through my 2011 experiences --
1) A kind word goes a long way. Being a stranger in a big new city, I know this all too well. From the barrista at Starbucks around the corner offering a list of restaurants I should try to a random girl on the L commenting on how much she loves my shoes. Something as simple as that can change your whole mood and put a little pep in your step. So be kind, even to strangers. You never know if a little compliment you give may make someone else's day. (Plus, it's just good karma)
2) Enjoy your "Me Time". Like I said, I've had to do a lot of things solo since I've been here. But I surprisingly like it...especially going to movies. I really feel that you appreciate things more sometimes when you don't have the distraction of having to interact with others...and you can just take it all in yourself. Read a book. Take a bubble bath...with candles and music. (I've heard rumors that when you get married and have babies and such this stuff is practically non-existent...so seriously...enjoy it).
3) Know when to hold 'em, Know when to fold 'em. I'm talking about relationships. I'm a hoarder by nature (working on it), in all aspects of my life...but especially when it comes to people. I don't know if it's because I feel as though I'm "burning bridges" or afraid of hurting someone's feelings or what...but I've realized that not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime. Some people will only be childhood friends...high school friends...college friends...etc. And that's ok. People come in and out of our lives for a reason. I've had a few people in my life recently that I at one point considered to be one of my closest friends...and now we barely even speak. But instead of dwelling on the fact that the friendship isn't what it was anymore or trying to rekindle the relationship, I've decided to think back on some of my fondest memories with those people and think about what those relationships taught me...and I silently thank them for it. So do some friend pruning, whether it be Facebook, Twitter, your phone contacts, etc. You have to let go of the past in order to make room for the future.
4) It's not about where you are, but who you're with that really matters. Ok, so yes this is slightly cliche, but I have definitely found the truth in this little saying. As much as I love this city (and believe me...I do), there have been so many times where I've been out and thought, "Oh Dibble would love this... Jen would think that's hilarious... I really wish I had my KatieLou with me..."And when I've been fortunate enough to have my friends come visit me, everything about this fabulous city is amplified by 1,000. Something as mundane as riding on the L turns into an inside joke that we'll laugh about for years to come. Being in an amazing city is fantastic...but most of the time it's the people you're with that make those awesome memories...not a beautiful skyline or a super chic bar.
5) ...But I know, a change is gonna come. We are human...and because of this, we will try to plan out every aspect of our lives. Now having goals and dreams and aspirations I feel are essential in life. But I myself have fallen victim to feeling that if I were to change my mind about something, whether it be a career path or location or relationships, it would be seen as "failing" in a sense. As if people would say, "Oh, she obviously couldn't cut it, so she had to change directions..." Then this year I realized two things: 1) "Failing" and "changing your mind" are two totally different things. 2) When did I ever start giving an f about what other people think? We are going to change. It's inevitable. If you refuse to allow yourself the freedom to change and evolve, you're limiting yourself to that little "box" that you will ultimately suffocate and die inside of. (I mean that figuratively, not literally). If you want to move to a big new city (let's say, hypothetically, Chicago) and then after three months of living there decide that you want to move to New Orleans to be with the love of your life (again, hypothetically speaking)...then do it. As we get older, our perspectives, likes/dislikes, and priorities are going to change. They're suppose to...let them. Don't let the fear of the unfamiliar and unknown paralyze you. Dream Big. Take chances. Defy gravity. And most importantly...follow your heart.
So here's to you, 2011...new experiences, new cities, new priorities, new me. And to you, 2012...a year full of kindness, good friends, self-improvement, and taking chances. May we never stop loving, growing, and learning. Cheers!
"What would you do if you knew you wouldn't fail? ...Now go do it." ~ New Year's Eve
My New Years last year, although spent with some amazing people, started off pretty shaky. I had just gotten out of a year and a half relationship that lasted about 6 months too long. For the first time ever, I found myself with the countdown slowly ticking away to the start of 2011...and I had no one to kiss. (And for those of you who know me, a boyfriendless Lisa is a very rare thing.) I was forced in that moment to ring in the New Year not as "us" or "we" or "Lisa & ___", but as "Lisa". It was bizarre...and terrifying. And little did I know that very instant would set the tone for the year to follow...
2011: The Year of "Me"
After reluctantly welcoming 2011, I immediately moved in with my best friend, Dibbs. And after the year long not-so-pleasant living situation of 2010 I had just experienced, I was needless to say extremely excited about my new arrangements. And boy did it live up to my expectations. Even though we lived together, worked together, and played together...it was always fun. Even our car rides to work and back were filled with "GLEEfulness" and laughing til we cried. Within a month, I felt like I was my old self again...but a new, better, more free, and all around happier version. Within the first 6 months of 2011, I made some of the best memories that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I went out almost every weekend, I dated, I took random road trips...(let's just saw I worked the single status like it was my job). I was getting to enjoy things in a whole new way, and I was loving every second of it. And just as I was getting use to this new aspect of life known as "singleness", another new opportunity was thrown my way...Chicago.
It was something I had always wanted, always dreamed of...but was it the right time? I mean, here I am in a great living situation, good job, amazing friends, and having the time of my life. Did I really want to risk all of that and move to a city that, although I loved, was full of so many uncertainties?? I knew practically no one, the job was so different, and I had never lived more than an hour and a half from where I was born. Yes, I had mastered the single life, but this was something much bigger than that. What if I couldn't cut it? What if I got there and didn't love it anymore? What if I get buried in snow on Lake Shore Drive?! (Hey, did you guys see the stories about the February 2011 Blizzard?? It's a legit fear.) I toiled over the idea for days, until I had a conversation with my mother (who btw, it a super wise lady). She said, "Honey, look...this is something you've always wanted. This is your dream. You're young. Do it now. You can always come back. But if you don't go now, you may never do it...and wouldn't that be something that would always weigh on your heart? It's ok to be selfish...that's what your 20's are for." She was absolutely right. So, I did...I did it for me.
I have now been a Chicagoan for 6 months (wow...6 months), and I have probably learned more about myself in this 6 months then I have in the past 24 years of my life. Although I've met some pretty fabulous people since I've arrived in the Windy City, I've spent much of the time here alone. And as slightly depressing as that may sound (and felt, some days)...I needed it. I've gone to movies and restaurants by myself. I've hopped on a train after midnight to meet friends at a bar. I've spent a whole day exploring the city all on my own. The mere idea of some of these things would've been horrifying to the "old Lisa"...but not me. I've embraced it...and I feel so much more independent and self-sufficient and, honestly, more grown-up. I feel like I'm finally starting to get to know the "real Lisa" and the kind of person she's still working every day to become...and I kind of like her. :o)
Lessons Learned:
As I said earlier, I've learned so much about myself over the past year...in work, friendships, love, and life in general. I have met so many different people and gained such a greater perspective on the world. So I thought I would share a little bit of "wisdom" I've harvested through my 2011 experiences --
1) A kind word goes a long way. Being a stranger in a big new city, I know this all too well. From the barrista at Starbucks around the corner offering a list of restaurants I should try to a random girl on the L commenting on how much she loves my shoes. Something as simple as that can change your whole mood and put a little pep in your step. So be kind, even to strangers. You never know if a little compliment you give may make someone else's day. (Plus, it's just good karma)
2) Enjoy your "Me Time". Like I said, I've had to do a lot of things solo since I've been here. But I surprisingly like it...especially going to movies. I really feel that you appreciate things more sometimes when you don't have the distraction of having to interact with others...and you can just take it all in yourself. Read a book. Take a bubble bath...with candles and music. (I've heard rumors that when you get married and have babies and such this stuff is practically non-existent...so seriously...enjoy it).
3) Know when to hold 'em, Know when to fold 'em. I'm talking about relationships. I'm a hoarder by nature (working on it), in all aspects of my life...but especially when it comes to people. I don't know if it's because I feel as though I'm "burning bridges" or afraid of hurting someone's feelings or what...but I've realized that not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime. Some people will only be childhood friends...high school friends...college friends...etc. And that's ok. People come in and out of our lives for a reason. I've had a few people in my life recently that I at one point considered to be one of my closest friends...and now we barely even speak. But instead of dwelling on the fact that the friendship isn't what it was anymore or trying to rekindle the relationship, I've decided to think back on some of my fondest memories with those people and think about what those relationships taught me...and I silently thank them for it. So do some friend pruning, whether it be Facebook, Twitter, your phone contacts, etc. You have to let go of the past in order to make room for the future.
4) It's not about where you are, but who you're with that really matters. Ok, so yes this is slightly cliche, but I have definitely found the truth in this little saying. As much as I love this city (and believe me...I do), there have been so many times where I've been out and thought, "Oh Dibble would love this... Jen would think that's hilarious... I really wish I had my KatieLou with me..."And when I've been fortunate enough to have my friends come visit me, everything about this fabulous city is amplified by 1,000. Something as mundane as riding on the L turns into an inside joke that we'll laugh about for years to come. Being in an amazing city is fantastic...but most of the time it's the people you're with that make those awesome memories...not a beautiful skyline or a super chic bar.
5) ...But I know, a change is gonna come. We are human...and because of this, we will try to plan out every aspect of our lives. Now having goals and dreams and aspirations I feel are essential in life. But I myself have fallen victim to feeling that if I were to change my mind about something, whether it be a career path or location or relationships, it would be seen as "failing" in a sense. As if people would say, "Oh, she obviously couldn't cut it, so she had to change directions..." Then this year I realized two things: 1) "Failing" and "changing your mind" are two totally different things. 2) When did I ever start giving an f about what other people think? We are going to change. It's inevitable. If you refuse to allow yourself the freedom to change and evolve, you're limiting yourself to that little "box" that you will ultimately suffocate and die inside of. (I mean that figuratively, not literally). If you want to move to a big new city (let's say, hypothetically, Chicago) and then after three months of living there decide that you want to move to New Orleans to be with the love of your life (again, hypothetically speaking)...then do it. As we get older, our perspectives, likes/dislikes, and priorities are going to change. They're suppose to...let them. Don't let the fear of the unfamiliar and unknown paralyze you. Dream Big. Take chances. Defy gravity. And most importantly...follow your heart.
So here's to you, 2011...new experiences, new cities, new priorities, new me. And to you, 2012...a year full of kindness, good friends, self-improvement, and taking chances. May we never stop loving, growing, and learning. Cheers!
"What would you do if you knew you wouldn't fail? ...Now go do it." ~ New Year's Eve
