I counted the other day...in the past 8 years I have had 5 boyfriends, 6 jobs, 8 combo of hair colors/cuts, and moved 10 times. (I know...it even shocked me a little saying it out loud) Some may describe that as "indecisive" or "unstable". I like to think of it as being "adventurous" or "a rolling stone", if you will. Needless to say, I don't like things stagnant. And what's wrong with that?? Isn't that what they keep telling us our 20s are for? "Go out there...try different careers...go back to school, if you want...move 1,000 miles away then move back again...you should try going back to blonde..." (no worries...that last one will NEVER happen). They tell us this, because it is the prime of our lives. It's our time to figure out what we want and don't want...what we need and don't need...what relationships should be cherished and who needs to get the "de-friend" button. For some people, all of these options can be overwhelming, confusing, and even terrifying. But for some of us, this whirlwind that we call our 20s can pick you up, throw you around, and drop you at exactly where you need to be.
I've been spending a lot of time lately revamping my resume. I've even been looking into going back to school to get my masters (eeek!). But through the hours I've spent having to reflect back on past jobs and experiences within those jobs, of course there were the good (Best Buy), the bad (the cleaners), and the uuugly (Goody's...lord, help me). But even in those jobs that I hated and kept thinking to myself, "I'd rather be homeless than do this job another day" (and I really meant it some days), through building my resume, I was forced to dig deep and recognize positive things that I learned or gained from my experiences within those jobs: patience, communication, team work, organization, critical thinking, patience (I know I said this one already, but in working with the general public for so many years, I thought it deserved a repeat). I've had good bosses and terrible ones. Awesome coworkers and a-holes. Amazing experiences and down right shitty ones. But the lesson I've taken away from this the most: <insert another "Ah HA!" moment> . . . you cannot FULLY appreciate the good without the bad...and every moment in your life (again, good or bad) is guiding you to your final destination. Example: If I had never been fired from Best Buy, I would have never gotten my job at the law office (that I loved so much). If I had never gotten that job at the law office, I might have applied to law school (still not regretting that). If I had gotten any of the hundreds of jobs I applied for in my final semester of college, I would have never gotten a job with my current company. And if I had never gotten a job with my current company, I may not have ever had the opportunity to move to the most amazing city in the country (Chicago, duh). So see...I won't say that "everything happens for a reason", but...it kinda does.
Same thing goes for relationships. For those who know me, I've dated a little here and there (ahem). Some lasting 2-3 years...some lasting 2-3 weeks. And just like with the jobs I've had, some were dreamy, and some were a f***ing nightmare. And I use to resent the bad ones and hold a bitterness in my heart for them. But as I've gotten older and wiser (or just more mature maybe), I've come to appreciate the good and the bad relationships I've had. As most of you know, I like to relate a lot of experiences in my life to quotes and/or songs (you just have to accept it...I just can't help myself). I just feel that sometimes in my life I can't quite articulate what I'm feeling...then I turn on the radio, and BAM! There it is...my exact thoughts thrown back in my face in the form of a lovely little tune. As far as the not-so-pretty relationships I've had, these 2 songs immediately come to mind (and I just so happen to have heard them both on my way home from work today): *Names have been changed to protect the douchey-ness.
And as bad as these two situations were (or ended up being), I think, no...I know I learned the most from them. About life...about men...and more importantly, about myself. I learned the difference between compromising and settling...space and distance. I discovered what my limits were and what they should be. I mean, I don't plan on sending any of them a Hallmark card or anything, but I am thankful nonetheless. We've all been fired, dumped, stabbed in the back, and effed over a time or two. But again, jobs, living situations, relationships, life in general...it's all a learning experience that you can grow and move forward from, and (in most cases) come out a stronger, better version of your former self. I know I did.
You know, I use to be ashamed of my "rolling stone" status and (by some people's definition) lengthy relationship "resume", but no more. I may not have made all of the best decisions I could have, or hell, even somewhat smart ones. But we learn best from mistakes...from failures...from the misses. Sometimes we need to get knocked down to see just how high we can rise. You can choose to mourn the bad times and hold bitterness in your heart. But I...I have chosen to use those dark times for good. It snapped me back to reality just in time to realize what an amazing thing I had in my life all along. For you see, had I not known what it was like to be hurt, to not be trusted, to be cheated on, and emotionally beaten down...I wouldn't have been able to truly appreciate the relationship that I have now. A relationship full of trust, and respect, and thoughtfulness...of actual, authentic love.
So, in conclusion, join me in raising a glass and toasting not only the great moments and people in our lives, but also those that were not-so-great...because they have all done their part to shape us into the kick-ass people that we've become. Sooo...
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| CHEERS TO YOU, A**HOLES! :o) |
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